I want them to get excited about learning, and being safe
Knowing how intense and particular this lifestyle can get, there really needs to be something in place to protect us newbies, not just forums. Personally I think that Fetlife should implement badges that each new member gets when they first sign up for Fetlife. A decent size test will determine what badge they receive, and that badge will display on their profile. Those badges will help others know who is new, experienced, a mentor etc. And Fetlife could take it a step further and color code them or whatever but this example is my hope. I want newbies to be and feel encouraged to do their homework. Otherwise, we’re just being allowed to be careless. Brittany Simon, a BDSM YouTuber and masochist told viewers in fellow BDSM YouTuber Evie Lupine’s video Common Newbie Misconceptions About BDSM that during a scene she was in – a guy walked into the scene and complimented her breasts. This is allegedly a very common issue in BDSM regarding newbies (i.e not knowing the most basic “Does and Dont’s”) and these careless actions will tell everyone in the room one of two things. You’re either a disrespectful asshole, or an ignorant and incompetent newbie. Either way, expect to be immediately confronted by the Dom in the scene or any bystander!
Have “doms” helpful link or “dommes” ever contacted you and said questionable things to you or blatantly made you uncomfortable?
Have you ever had any issues with Fetlife and finding helpful resources? Has Fetlife ever been able to serve you as a reliable guide with exploring BDSM and your kinks? Tell me your stories in the comment section below.
I want them to get excited about learning, and being safe
Knowing how intense and particular this lifestyle can get, there really needs to be something in place to protect us newbies, not just forums. Personally I think that Fetlife should implement badges that each new member gets when they first sign up for Fetlife. A decent size test will determine what badge they receive, and that badge will display on their profile. Those badges will help others know who is new, experienced, a mentor etc. And Fetlife could take it a step further and color code them or whatever but this example is my hope. I want newbies to be and feel encouraged to do their homework. Otherwise, we’re just being allowed to be careless. Brittany Simon, a BDSM YouTuber and masochist told viewers in fellow BDSM YouTuber Evie Lupine’s video Common Newbie Misconceptions About BDSM that during a scene she was in – a guy walked into the scene and complimented her breasts. This is allegedly a very common issue in BDSM regarding newbies (i.e not knowing the most basic “Does and Dont’s”) and these careless actions will tell everyone in the room one of two things. You’re either a disrespectful asshole, or an ignorant and incompetent newbie. Either way, expect to be immediately confronted by the Dom in the scene or any bystander!
Something else that concerns me about Fetlife and Newbies is that there is an overload of information and no guide of how to use it. The forums are a perfect place to start but once you do it becomes a maze of information and rules. Within seconds BDSM is suddenly a university and your kinks and the fundamentals of BDSM are the courses and you have no clue which classes to take first. (For those of you who have attended college, you know how awfully stressful that is!) . I remember when I jumped into the forums eager to meet people in the lifestyle and make friends I was met with rules and regulations, consequences, and protocols. By the end of my reading this forum, I felt like I had cramped two textbook chapters worth of a psychology into my head. I was intrigued but also very overwhelmed. I couldn’t stand to read another sentence.
